Sunday, November 12, 2006

Bush Ponders While He Waits to Lay a Wreath

Bush laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier yesterday. I wonder what was going through his mind as he stood there waiting to lay the wreath?

Unknown, eh? Wonder if I knew him. Prob'ly not. Couldn'a been from my unit, none of us went. Didn't know many guys outside the unit. Hell, didn't know too many guys in the unit. 'Member 'Stretch' and 'Too Tall', and the commander, 'Colonel Baldy'. Can't even 'member the unit number. 'Unit'. Heh-heh. 'S a funny word. Military's got lotsa 'units'. Heh-heh. 'Unit'. 'You knit'. I don't knit. Don't sew, neither. 'Sew'. Why's it pronounced 'so'? There's no 'o' in 'sew'. Should pronounce it 'sue'. Nah. Who wants the trial lawyers involved? I hate lawyers. Ever'body does. Even judges. Scalia can't stand 'em. Dick said so. Told him when they went duck huntin' together. Heh-heh. 'Duck huntin'. Dick was huntin' ducks. Heh-heh. Dick was huntin' ducks down by the docks. Heh-heh. Hey, I'm a reg'lar poet. Oughta nominate myself for Poet Lore-ree-aht. Heh-heh. Gotta tell Con-I mean, Laura 'bout that one. Man, I gotta be careful. Near fucked up ag'in last week. Aw'most called Laura 'Condi'. Keeps gettin' madder ev'ry time I do it. Fuck her. She's becomin' a real bitch lately. Yellin' at me all'a time. 'Why didn'you fire Rummy when I tol' you to? Why haven'you fired Karl yet? When ar'you gonna quit drinkin'?' Fuckin' bitch. No one tells me when to fire anybody. I decide that stuff. I'm the decider. Heh-heh. I like that word. 'Stuff'. Heh-heh. 'Stuff'. 'S funny word. 'Stuffin ballots'. Heh-heh. Yeah, Karl shoulda done more o' that. Maybe Laura's right. Damn! I hate it when she's right. 'Cause then she's prob'ly right all those other times, too. I'm gonna miss her if she goes through with 'the threat'. No one threatens me. I'll just tell Homeland Security she's threatenin' the pres'dint. That'll shut her up. Prob'ly lock her up. Take her ta Gitmo. Ooops, there's my cue. Time to give ol' what's-his-face his flowers. Who's this guy again?

Of course, I could be wrong.

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