Thursday, October 26, 2006

Picking My Brain 06-10-26

Serving the internets since about two weeks ago!


"Madam Speaker. Last Sunday, the Nation celebrated George Washington's birthday. Washington was known for his honesty. We all remember that story of how he admitted to chopping down the cherry tree. Now, if that were Bill Clinton, he would have blamed Ken Starr and the vast right-wing conspiracy for chopping down that poor cherry tree." - Re. Tom DeLay (R-TX). Congressional Record, H583, 2-28-98

------- has compiled a great list of forty-one times where Bush has said "stay the course". These quotes all came after we invaded Iraq, and some show him saying it twice in a row (counts as one).


So I'm listening to Bush say that this year the referendum is 'Who's gonna keep you safe?' and (while smiling), 'Who's gonna keep your taxes low?' (paraphrased) As I so often ask when I hear him speak, "So which is it?" Are we supposed to vote on the very life or death issue of our own personal safety, or the very flippant, selfish, deficit-exploding issue of whether or not our taxes are too high? If you're able to worry about whether you're paying too many taxes on those hundreds of thousands of dollars in (often for you folks) unearned income, then you are not at all concerned about your personal safety. He is not addressing 99% of the country when he talks about "keeping your taxes low." He's talking to the people who give money to the Republican Party. I heard once (and no I can't cite a source because I heard it, I didn't find it on the internets) that something like 19% of American people think they are in the top 1% of income earners. (So there's 18% of the country that are clearly delusional. That must account for 60% of that 30% of the country that still supports "Bonobo Bush. Where are the rest? Hmmm, perhaps some mega-church? Just a thought.)


Sorry to interrupt this blog, but my cat, Tippy, is going whacko again. For the past few nights he's been darting around the house crashing into things along the way (he's a clumsy boy, but he's cute). It's like he has Spring Fever, except this idiot gets it at least twice a year.


Here's a conversation stopper at parties. "Don't you hate it when the cops knock on your door, point to the front of your car and ask, 'Is that your blood, sir?'"


BRI - Trivia - The "Bathroom Readers' Institute puts out a great series of books called "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader". If you're like me in that you both enjoy trivia and take shits, you'll love this series of books. They are packed with an eclectic collection of various length articles covering everything from history to pop culture to music and film trivia to puzzles and all kinds of things, written for the purpose of having something to read in the john. They really are educational. Here's a couple of little items (part of a larger article) to give you an idea of what you can find in them. (There's more than a dozen!)


In 1770, American revolutionaries published these detailed directions for tarring and feathering, which was, at the time "a mob ritual."

How to Tar and Feather Someone

"First, strip a person naked, then heat the Tar until it is thin & pour it upon naked Flesh, or rub it over with a Tar brush.
"After which, sprinkle decently upon the Tar, whilst it is yet warm, as many Feathers as will stick to it.
"Then hold a lighted Candle to the Feathers, & try to set it all on Fire."

I present this information purely for historical purposes. I do not advocate the use of violence to solve problems. On the other hand, I'm also slow to react. All I can say is, teach your kids about fire safety.

Then there was this gem.


You think Richard Nixon was "a little" stiff and formal? Here's a memo he sent to his wife on January 25, 1969.

To: Mrs. Nixon

From: The President

With regard to RN's room, what would be the most desirable is an end table like the one on the right side of the bed, which will accomodate two dictaphones as well as a telephone. RN has to use one dictaphone for current matters and another for memoranda for the file, which he will not want transcribed at this time. In addition, he needs a bigger table on which he can work at night. The table which is presently in the room does not allow enough room for him to get his knees under it.

Okay, rather than ask her in person, he sends a memo to her. And they must not have been sleeping in the same room or else he could have leaned over and said, "You see that table right next to you, Pat? You think you could get another one just like it for over here, big enough for these three things and high enough to fit my knees under? Thanks. Good night, Sugar Plum." (I'm only guessing that he called her "Sugar Plum". I have no idea what he called her in the privacy of their own home. Maybe her called her "Toots.") But why send a memo? To his wife? "A little" stiff? Yeah, like he was also "a little" power-hungry.

I like those books.

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